tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
