No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize