Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
