im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
