I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Randomize
