if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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