Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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