I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
