If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
