Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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