Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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