Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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