Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
