Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
