This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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