I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
