Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
