If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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