he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
