dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize