If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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