i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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