we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
birth control should be required to get into college
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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