I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
