Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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