Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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