how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
that's an acceptable place to lick
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
