Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
