White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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