i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize