There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he was CRYING into my vagina
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
