Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
