i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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