You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
