And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
