Pappa wants mamma naked
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize