I feel like abortions should bother me more
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
