did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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