Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
