i just google imaged poop.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
