i don't like sucking hair
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
