Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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