some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
