Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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