I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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