paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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