Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize