He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
