plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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