i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
