you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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