i permit you to call me
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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