My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
