It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
