yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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