So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
