Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
