I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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