why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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