Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
