I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
