I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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