you would pick up someone in the library
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
