Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
