"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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