I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
