thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
