You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
His nipple licking is glorious
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