carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
