just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
