just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
