i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
